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jayden 2 1/2

jayden 2 1/2

February 15, 2009March 26, 2016 stefanieboyce

Thought this was a cute pic!

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Netflix, feel good friends: #thekindnessdiaries is a must watch to your Netflix list. đź’• Would you let him stay?
I cut Brooklyn’s hair. When she passed, I wanted something physical to touch. But when Jayden passed, his hair was short, so I kept a few of his last fingernail clippings and an eyelash that had fallen onto his cheek. It’s in a drawer next to his his bed-right next to some cards we received, a beautiful rock with his name on it, and a tag from a pug toy Ellie and I found shopping one day that said “JJ.” I know. Nail clippings? Gross. Weird, a bit creepy, and gross. Well, maybe not to those of us who have lost a loved one. Or had a child and kept their first tooth. Or to a grown woman who still sleeps with a blankie. We are physical beings who naturally gravitate towards physical reminders. I think that’s one of the most beautiful things about earth. There are glimpses of God all around. Hints in seasons, and the created, refections in the people we meet. In the Words He left for us on a page, truths He is still speaking, and wonders for us to still uncover. After J and B passed, their space and things become a bit more precious, sacred even. I don't let people into those spaces much for that reason. But a few nights ago, I did. Two dear friends were over and it just felt right to show them Jayden’s clippings and eyelash, delicately wrapped in a tear soaked Kleenex in the drawer. They let me guide them into the space. They cried for me. They didn't talk, they just went with me into the holy temple of mourning. They didn’t throw Bible verses at me, even though they are two of the holiest women I know. And, they didn’t make jokes to ease the tension. They just held it silently for me and let me lead. A few weeks later, they came up to me with a gift: little plastic ziplock bags. “To keep your reminders safe. You know, so you don’t lose what’s in that Kleenex.” It was one of the most precious gifts I’ve ever received. The bags, sure, but even more, that they saw me, sat with me, and said my lament was “good.”
This is one of my favorite verses of all time. #perspective Curious-What’s one of yours?
I know I prefer the one who will listen versus the one who will fix, but am I that person for others? A fixer myself, this way of responding to others has taken time to cultivate. Silence feels so inadequate and unhelpful, yet it acknowledges quite a bit. First, that we all not in control. We are not the ones that can or are called to fix it or fix the person experiencing it. Second, it communicates it’s ok to not be ok. There’s no reason to pretend to be happy when we aren’t. It’s ok to be sad when sad things happen. That’s consistent. We need to stop throwing confetti at our pain and call it what it is-a result of a fallen world. If it breaks the heart of Christ, it’s ok that it breaks ours. We don’t need to celebrate the source of the pain. We celebrate what God does and can do in and through it. That’s a process that takes time and is not the listeners job to cultivate. Which brings me to my final insight. We are smart. We know truth and our next steps. And if we don’t, we know how to ask great questions to find out. Processing out loud helps us. So when we offer silence to one another, when we hold space without judgement and advice, we create a place for healing to begin. Hold the space. Let the pain fall out. Sit back and watch what God does when we do this for the people we love. When we do it for ourselves. #henrinouwen #breadforthejourney
If you don’t follow @morganharpernichols -today is the day you should start. Her words are simple and true. Who else do you follow that inspires you?
Stay curious. Notice the different sounds of the birds through your windows and as you get in your car. Slow down and take a deep breath of spring air, pulling it down into your chest. Feel the sun on your face. Look in the eyes of the people you encounter. Ask good questions of one another. Be a learner and investigator of the world around you instead of numbly navigating it until a crisis hits. We were meant for so much more and the world is full of His glory! I’d love to know, what beautiful thing did you experience today?
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