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jayden 2 1/2

jayden 2 1/2

February 15, 2009March 26, 2016 stefanieboyce

Thought this was a cute pic!

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Keep leading me, B. Keep showing me how to step into the very places I don’t want to go, for when I see you—in pictures, reminders, love—I see Jesus reflected in and through you. #lovecontinues #CloseEnoughToHoldHerHand
Happy 10th Birthday, Beeba. We knew her birthday should include music, because she sang in melodies and spent her life bopping to the music. We picked out songs, made a playlist, and rolled down the windows. Through our tears, we listened to party rock anthem and Barney, castles so high... We knew her day should include swimming, because she was our little mermaid. She spent 9 years swimming. “We have a pool and can play music,” our friends said. So they got steaks and potatoes shaped like honeycombs. They ordered the most perfect cake and picked up the 5 bee cookies that just happened to be waiting in the bakery. We watched videos and looked at pictures. We lit sparklers under the bee shaped lights hanging from the trees. We celebrated. We remembered. We chose joy. Brooklyn continues to teach us how to choose joy in the midst of our toughest days. Choosing joy doesn’t mean we ignore the sadness. I cried a lot today. It means the sting doesn’t win. It means choosing to see both sides. It means having an eternal perspective, realizing joy is eternal, sadness and absence is temporary. We are so grateful for all the texts, prayers, flowers from Beeba’s friends, and for our friends that sit with us in these days and go out of their way to love us. How can you not be filled with gratitude? How can you not choose joy? How can you forget the victory? Happy birthday, B. You are my firework.
19 months closer. Loss doesn’t affect just us. It’s layered, complex, and far reaching. This is our dear friend, @adevo5 Anyone who knows us, knows her. She is selfless, kind, loving, and has been a huge blessing in our life in more ways than an Instagram word count can handle. For the past fifteen years, she has loved our family well and continues to. We call her Aunt Angie for a reason. And it hasn’t been until recently I have realized how complex her own grief has been. Not only has she walked with us through it all, she is grieving too. Who holds her grief while she holds ours? Part of her calling was helping us raise our kids and be present for us. My hope is it has been a dual blessing, although she for sure helped us way more than we helped her I’m sure. And now, her role has changed. And although she is no less wanted or needed, we are all wondering what to do now that there’s a lot less to do. Many of our friends wonder the same thing now that all of our hands seem more empty. Where do I fit? There is a hole that only J and B filled. We are all learning a new way of being present for one another as our needs and roles have changed. J and B were the glue for so many. And, it leaves us asking how to show up for them when for 10 years, we were the chaos. We were the easiest house to go to. So tonight, after spending the evening with Aunt Angie watching videos over ice cream, I am thankful. Thankful for the community J and B pulled towards us. Thankful for our glue, thankful for people that entered into our story, thankful for friends that remember and remain, and thankful for friends willing to navigate the complex field of loss and grief. #jbthankful #19monthscloser
::Henri Nouwen Bread For The Journey (A beautiful devotional I highly recommend) Such an important invitation. If you are in a time to receive, consider joining me today for yoga. 9:30a or 6:30p. This is a gentle flow class. If you have never tried yoga, why not start today? Your first class is free and you’ll be in good company. I have men and women at all different fitness levels, ages, etc. Cultivating a yoga practice is about caring for our mind, body, and spirit. It’s not about flexibility. It’s not about ‘yoga.’ That’s just the means to an end. What if you stopped making excuses? Stopped believing the lies? What if you show up, anyway? Because the win is in the showing up. Anything after that is called fruit.
Did I tell you we planted a garden this year? Justin built two raised planter boxes for Mother’s Day and we are beginning to see the fruits-or beans and tomatoes-of our hard work. Learning to garden has been amazing. I still have no clue how it all works, (and I may have put too many seeds in at once 😬#PessimisticGardener) but it’s been so fun watching how one little seed contains all the information to become what it was meant to be. With a little soil, water, and sun, these little plants burst forth, growing and stretching towards the sun. First the flower, then the bean. I can’t believe I have a bean! 😁 Dirt under my nails, sunflowers taller than me, squash tumbling out out of the box....all from these tiny seeds. Fascinating. 🌱 #IAmAGardener #NoWonderWhyThereAreSoManySeedAnalogiesInTheBible
9:30a or 6:30p. Come bend with me and take that summer time out you so desperately need!
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