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the pool with dad

the pool with dad

August 5, 2009March 26, 2016 stefanieboyce
Jayden and took Jut to his last day of free swim on Saturday. It was cold and rainy but Brayden was there so it was fun!

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Ellie’s the “mom.” She’s really enjoyed being with her cousins here in Tennessee; with 5 to choose from, there’s no shortage of playmates. Our house has become quieter these days. Ellie misses the chaos, the traffic, and the noise that J and B brought with them. And, she just misses THEM. We talk a lot about J and B. This morning she is wearing mermaid bows in her hair-her sister’s favorite. I listened as Ellie told a story to her cousins about B-“how my mom has to sit on her to do her hair in the mornings.” Then I listened to her correct herself-had. The gravity of one little letter. The adjustments are landmines planted all throughout our day. Some more painful than sweet. But instead of just seeing them as explosions to avoid, I am learning to treat them as treasures. Past tense will always hurt, but talking about them, noticing little signs throughout my day, keeps them present, always. 🐝 Matthew 6:20-21 New Living Translation (NLT) “Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”
This morning, before setting out for the happiest place on earth, (the #NashvilleFleaMarket of course) we had to make a stop at Home Depot. I know my way around the Franklin/Nashville area a bit, but ever since we arrived, my GPS has taken me on unfamiliar roads, unknown turns, and uncomfortable curves. It was getting a bit annoying, actually. As we sat in the parking lot, Ang reached over and handed me some lemon verbena lotion and a word of wisdom. “You know, I think your GPS knows you.” She laughed. “Oh yeah? Why?” I asked. “I think it knows you and wants to show you beautiful things you’ve never seen before. The GPS may not take us on the path we think it should, but always gets us to where we’re supposed to be. If we wouldn’t have gone these new ways, we would have missed the adventure.” And she’s right. We saw beautiful Tennessee homes, the sun setting over rolling hills, and the trees beginning their spring bloom. The same applies to our faith and God’s guidance. We miss things when we know where we’re going. When we travel through life on autopilot and without the GPS. We think we know where we going, but we may miss the adventure getting there. We have a choice to make. Trust God knows the best way to get us there and keep our eyes open on the back roads, or whine and complain about every turn. Thanks to Ang, I changed my perspective. We got back on the road and just trusted the GPS would get us wherever we needed to be. It did. And of course, its found its way to Marshall’s (where we found a random gift bag that said, “notes”....odd) and to Bishop’s #HotChicken #carrotsoufflé #areyoukiddingme?🍗 🍗 #GPSForTheWin @adevo5 @kalieprintz
Can’t wait to make memories in one of my favorite places the next few days!
Netflix, feel good friends: #thekindnessdiaries is a must watch to your Netflix list. 💕 Would you let him stay?
I cut Brooklyn’s hair. When she passed, I wanted something physical to touch. But when Jayden passed, his hair was short, so I kept a few of his last fingernail clippings and an eyelash that had fallen onto his cheek. It’s in a drawer next to his his bed-right next to some cards we received, a beautiful rock with his name on it, and a tag from a pug toy Ellie and I found shopping one day that said “JJ.” I know. Nail clippings? Gross. Weird, a bit creepy, and gross. Well, maybe not to those of us who have lost a loved one. Or had a child and kept their first tooth. Or to a grown woman who still sleeps with a blankie. We are physical beings who naturally gravitate towards physical reminders. I think that’s one of the most beautiful things about earth. There are glimpses of God all around. Hints in seasons, and the created, refections in the people we meet. In the Words He left for us on a page, truths He is still speaking, and wonders for us to still uncover. After J and B passed, their space and things become a bit more precious, sacred even. I don't let people into those spaces much for that reason. But a few nights ago, I did. Two dear friends were over and it just felt right to show them Jayden’s clippings and eyelash, delicately wrapped in a tear soaked Kleenex in the drawer. They let me guide them into the space. They cried for me. They didn't talk, they just went with me into the holy temple of mourning. They didn’t throw Bible verses at me, even though they are two of the holiest women I know. And, they didn’t make jokes to ease the tension. They just held it silently for me and let me lead. A few weeks later, they came up to me with a gift: little plastic ziplock bags. “To keep your reminders safe. You know, so you don’t lose what’s in that Kleenex.” It was one of the most precious gifts I’ve ever received. The bags, sure, but even more, that they saw me, sat with me, and said my lament was “good.”
This is one of my favorite verses of all time. #perspective Curious-What’s one of yours?
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