tired…

OK. the great thing I was going to post….

I am too tired to re-write it. (Shirley, could you send me the e-mail that you printed and sent me?) It was great and I will try to cut and paste it into the blog some time soon.

I feel like I am starting to wear down. I still believe in everything I claim as truth and everything you have read. I think the reality of the daily needs are just taking its toll on me physically. I am an organizer and an information collector. I am sifting through info and trying to get a handle on what an actual day will look like and there are not enough hours in a day to get it all figured out. My first reaction is to do everything now. I want to get on a schedule. I want to make a MPS info flyer for my kids. I want to clean then re-clean my house (usually by the time I finish it is dirty again). I want to make a new “normal”.

Not to mention I have a sick son at home. He has a cold and an ear infection. The many dr. appointments and early intervention meetings and phone calls and school meetings and “to do” lists and organizing info. and medications and interrupted sleep and stress and blog entries and MPS info and phone calls and company and booking Disney and a new future and IEP’s…………..
….you get the drift. You have the same “and” this “and” that too. I had it before this MPS crap and I will have it later.
Oh yeah, did I mention laundry? I now know why people used to wear sack cloths when they were grieving and then just rip them off!

None of it is bad….it is just a lot and I am tired. In fact, it is all stuff we need. It is just a bit consuming. Although I still have found time to enjoy my kids. Today Jayden was sick so he was cuddly and Brooklyn was napping. At one point, they were both laying on my lap and that is when it hit me. THIS is what it means to enjoy moments. THIS is why God gave them to me. THIS is what is is all about. I love them so much.

Anyway, a quick entry just to wet the whistle! And some old pics to enjoy.

Exodus 17:11-13 (The Message)

10-13 Joshua did what Moses ordered in order to fight Amalek. And Moses, Aaron, and Hur went to the top of the hill. It turned out that whenever Moses raised his hands, Israel was winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, Amalek was winning. But Moses’ hands got tired. So they got a stone and set it under him. He sat on it and Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on each side. So his hands remained steady until the sun went down. Joshua defeated Amalek and its army in battle.
BEFORE


AFTER

9 thoughts on “tired…

  1. Stef/Jut –
    I know, Stef, that you don't know me. I grew up at Beach Bible Church with the Boyce's. Jut and I ran Cross Country and Track together in HS. I have been talking to Rian a lot lately because her and I gave birth a day apart, and she has helped me through a few rough days. She shared your situation with me, and directed me to your blog. I just wanted you to know that you, Justin and the rest of the Boyce Family…especially your children, are in my thoughts a prayers. Your strength is truly amazing, and your faith in the Lord…so much faith in the Lord! Your faith, and your words help me to realize that in rough times I also need to put it all in his hands. You seem like a wonderful woman, and Justin is a lucky man. God Bless you all… Please tell Jut I said hi…I send you all my love!

    Kari (Wilson) Jakimauskas

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  2. We continue to pray – God puts you on my heart and mind regularly. When I wake in the night my thoughts consistantly turn to you all and I pray for restful sleep and the peace of our Shepherd. I can understand your fatigue as just being a mom is tiring but when you add monumental needs to the already busy mom stuff it can take its toll. I have written in my Bible “When we get to the end of ourselves we get the beginning of God.” I know you will continue to find Him faithful! If we can help lighten the load just let us know. Leah

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  3. Dear Boyce family,

    Melissa Ness is my cousin and one of my closest friends (our dads are brothers). A few weeks ago she told me about your situation, and directed me to this blog. I just wanted you to know that prayers are continually being sent your way from California. I have been reading for awhile and I cannot imagine what you are going through. However, please know that your strength and your reliance on God is humbling.
    I hope that you continue to find rest in Christ. Thank you for sharing your story.
    With love, Your sister in Christ,
    Lydia Ness

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  4. Love the pics of J and the lemon…looks like a possible iMPACT game~ Rest on us anytime! We love you guys. Hope J is starting to feel better with meds and rest can be had by all of you.

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  5. our dear friends The McNitt family are going through such a rough patch. Steve and Susie adopted 2 boys (that were not related). Noah is 16 and Caleb is 14 turning 15. Caleb had AML (lukemia) and just had his 3 year remission party in May-so he was cancer free. Later that week the AML was back. They are an awesome family of God. Caleb is at stanford right now going through a bone marrow transplant. This is the short version, but the reason for me telling you is that they keep an online blog and they are an amazing testimony. steve used to be a pastor before all this and he used that passage for one of his blogs and said that all of us were his aaron and hur. that the people who pray for him are holding up his hands when he is tired.
    Let us be your Aaron and Hur. That is what we were made for.

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  6. Dear Stephanie,
    You and I have never met but we have a few things in common. We both love our sick children and we both love God and are committed to His glory. I heard about you and your family from Vicki Leafblad. She asked me to pray for you and I am and will continue to. I am thrilled by what I have seen on your blog. I see God at work through the crucible of grace He has placed you in. I see a sinner wrestling with her flesh out of a desire to please God. I see a woman committed to delight in every moment that God gives you. I see a woman who has some gut-wrenching lessons to walk through but with a GOD who WAS, who IS, and who Is to come!

    My own personal “normal” ended 5 years ago with the birth of our son Carson and as you said in one of your posts… we now have a new normal 🙂 Isn't God so gracious!!

    I look forward to reading your blogs and keeping up with what God is doing in your life and in the lives of those you will impact for the sake of Christ. If you ever need to talk or I can help in any way please let me know. Our children don't have the same issues but “No temptation has overtaken you but what is common to man”. Maybe we can walk through the temptations together.

    Faithfully,
    Melissa
    fryfamily1@windstream.net

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  7. Stef – Let me know what I can do to help. I may not be a good cleaner but I sure can sit on the couch and watch Bob the Builder with the kids! Head up young person. God is in control.

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  8. ps. The song just started playing…I am reminded of driving home from Springfield with you…and our amazing talk and you introducing me to this song. Oh friend…how can I tell you how much I love you???

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  9. Hey love-I am thankful for your honesty.I wish I could spend every morning at your house and just love on your kids while you do stuff you need to do like re-enter birthdates 100 times while booking your Disney trip (like you needed that!) I hope you know that it is a JOY and a HIGHLIGHT of my week to spend time with you and I truly hope that you will be okay with using that time to do stuff you need to do..even though I don't feel like it's much! It was so great for me-I mean getting to dress Brooklyn and put her hair up in a ponytail? Loved it! I will pray for strength for you! I love you x a million!

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