What do you say?

What do you say to parents of 2 children with a terminal illness? I have been thinking about that. And, as one who now fits in this category, I have learned a few things. I used to be aweful with other people when they were grieving. I asked dumb questions and then probably tried to compare it to some less than comparable experience I went through, and then maybe prayed (or forgot to pray) once for the person. I am ashamed to say that, but it’s true. I am sorry. So, in light of that, I was prompted to write this.

Here are the things that really have helped us. People who have said,
I don’t understand. But I will walk through this with you. The good the bad and the ugly.” And then walk it.
“Let me pray for you. Now. Together.”
“I was reading this in Scripture (or I heard this song)” and then passed it along to us.
“I want to help. What do you need?” And, If you don’t know I will be here when you do.”

Or people who,
Just cry with us.
Laugh with us.
Are ok in the silence and don’t try to find words.
Just do something they are lead to do. (meals, cards, donations, etc.) where we don’t have to think about what we need. They just anticipate and do it.
Love on our kids and treat them as they “normally” would.
Really pray for us and interseed on our behalf.
Still let their kids love our kids.
Text saying, “just thinking of you now and praying for you”.

Just a thought.

Acts 3:6-8 (The Message)
6-8Peter said, “I don’t have a nickel to my name, but what I do have, I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!” He grabbed him by the right hand and pulled him up. In an instant his feet and ankles became firm. He jumped to his feet and walked.
8-10The man went into the Temple with them, walking back and forth, dancing and praising God. Everybody there saw him walking around and praising God. They recognized him as the one who sat begging at the Temple’s Gate Beautiful and rubbed their eyes, astonished, scarcely believing what they were seeing.

Acts 20:34-36 (The Message)
33-35″I’ve never, as you so well know, had any taste for wealth or fashion. With these bare hands I took care of my own basic needs and those who worked with me. In everything I’ve done, I have demonstrated to you how necessary it is to work on behalf of the weak and not exploit them. You’ll not likely go wrong here if you keep remembering that our Master said, ‘You’re far happier giving than getting.'”
36-38Then Paul went down on his knees, all of them kneeling with him, and prayed. And then a river of tears. Much clinging to Paul, not wanting to let him go. They knew they would never see him again—he had told them quite plainly. The pain cut deep. Then, bravely, they walked him down to the ship.

Romans 8:26 (The Message)
26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

1 Corinthians 16:5-7 (New Living Translation)
Paul’s Final Instructions 5 I am coming to visit you after I have been to Macedonia,[
a] for I am planning to travel through Macedonia. 6 Perhaps I will stay awhile with you, possibly all winter, and then you can send me on my way to my next destination. 7 This time I don’t want to make just a short visit and then go right on. I want to come and stay awhile, if the Lord will let me.

One thought on “What do you say?

  1. You are amazing Stef. I always cry when I read your blog but I'm glad I can be apart of your journey and know specifically what to pray for. I'm always here if you need me…especially if “retail therapy” is on the agenda or you need a good laugh. I'm not good at much else but I'll do whatever you need me to do. I love you guys TOO MUCH!

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