Thursday update

Jayden is currently getting his MRI. The draining is looking good and we will know more when the MRI comes back. Dr.s think it was a sist that ruptured. They got him earlier due to a cancellation which is good. Then J can eat sooner. We are just “settling into” our room, trying to keep it clean and fun. We hung cards, changed the sheets, and put some food in the fridge.
Bitter sweet.
Bitter we are even here putting stuff in a fridge in my son’s hospital room, sweet that we have a fridge, a hospital, and a single room to care for my child. It is too easy to get swept up in the negative, but where does that get you!?

I refuse to let this defeat me. I will be totally honest in telling you it is not easy, nor do I do it well, but, damn it (sorry), I am going to dig my nails in and fight. Fight to thrive. Make every day count. I love going to bed, thinking I did all I could do that day….maybe not as well as I could have but I tried and can make adjustments if I need to….God willing I get a tomorrow. No excuses for not rising above my circumstances. I know I could throw a pity party and everyone would let me, but again, what glory does that bring to God, to me, or my children? As the great Aunt Sue wrote, chin up. Thriving means feeling exactly what you feel and being honest about them…just rising above and through them, allowing them to shape you, strengthen you…so you can do life better the next moment you get.

I can still feel sad, I can still feel angry, I can still feel joy, peace, and love. It is the dichotomy (sp) of being a citizen of heaven, in a foreign land.

More updates to come. To God be the glory….healing or not.
(But you best know I want a healing!)

(sorry….sometimes I am a bit feisty!)

3 thoughts on “Thursday update

  1. Thank you for your honesty…it is an example for all of us! I admire and marvel how you are even able to make a choice to thrive right now when I know that so many would chose bitterness, anger, and a pity party. I love you and care about your family more than I even have words to express, am praying for you constantly, and am standing with you through it all! Hugs to sweet J!

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  2. I admire you Stef, LOVE you like crazy, and pray my heart out for you guys, I am so blessed to have you as a part of my life! When Jayden first went into Childrens, I remember the nurse questioning if you were strong enough to pick Jayden up and carry him… IF SHE ONLY KNEW YOU!!! Strong on the outside,and on the inside!! I'm so proud of you! Love ya!

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