So, I have realized how fast a month goes once again! When you live a “normal” day, time seems to fly by. It is amidst a crisis, that you are forced to slow down and really “sit”. Time stops as you await a result, diagnosis, or test. But, when you are running full speed into your to do list, rarely do we stop. I blog a lot when I am in crisis because it helps me process my thoughts and I have time. I am thankful for crisis simply because it forces me to reevaluate what is important. However, I would much rather get the lesson in my normal days. Whatever “normal” is!
I am reading a great book, A Place of Healing-wrestling with the mysteries of suffering, pain, and God’s sovereignty, recommended by a dear friend. It is written by Joni Eareckson Tada, who has her PHD in thriving, so to speak. If you don’t know her story, I recommend picking up her book. Here is a quote she discusses by Mary Jane Iron:
“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are…Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in my pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return”
All that to say, a month has come and gone with no real “news” and I have not made one blog entry…people who enjoy reading have gently asked if I have quit, and the answer is “no”, just doing a lot of “normal” lately!
God is still much at work and teaching me a great deal of lessons that I would love to share. Again, the reason I started this blog was simply to print it out (using cutestblogontheblock) and “scrapbook” every year. This was prior to the diagnosis. I still have plans to print my second book this december.
So-beginning with September 23. A former youth group girl came over to just hang, and challenged me more than she will ever know (unless she reads this, I guess). She went to Mexico and had a huge “God” moment. It moved her to make some significant life changes and get baptized as a symbol of her commitment to God. As she was sharing, I was convicted of something that I, too, had been holding onto that was getting in the way of God using me. It was a personal struggle that would take a lot of discipline to get rid of. I thought, if my friend can do it, so can I. I remembered, I lead out of who I am and can’t lead anyone further than I myself have gone. So, I gave my struggle to God and expected Him alone to change me. I am happy to say that He showed up in huge ways. Something I heard recently made a profound impact on my prayer life. It is not new, but hit me in a new way. When we pray God’s will and His promises, He always answers in the way He said He would. It may not be the way we thought He would answer our in our timing, but He keeps His promises. It is when we pray our will, He answers no.
Funny, how, when you are struggling with a habitual sin, and remove it, God shows up to refine you in other areas. It is as if that habitual sin was a loud stereo on all the time. When it is on, you can’t hear anything else. When you turn it off, you can finally hear all the other sounds around you, freeing you up to take action.