June 1, 2012: The reality of what just happened….

I am sitting in a hospital bed, listening to the distant cries of babies down the hall as my newest baby Ellie is laying peaceful in her bed. We are getting ready to be discharged and head home. There have been so many thoughts and feelings rushing through my body as I reflect back on the last few days.

My prayers for the last 10 months have been that God would sustain me in these moments, and that he would meet me in each moment and supply exactly what I needed to get through it. I haven’t worried about tomorrow, cause I know tomorrow has enough worries of its own….but the reality of a 3rd child entering the picture is quickly becoming a concern! I am so blessed to have friends and family who helped with the kids, a wonderful husband who is juggling everything effortlessly, and a fabulous baby that is adjusting well. Angie gave us a gift for the baby, and one of the things she gave was a frame with the phrase “You call it chaos, we call it family”. It is so true. I love the chaos. I love taking over hospital rooms and waiting rooms with laughter, and yelling, and crumbs! I love the nurses in and out, smiling and joking with us. But I also love the moments I have had in silence, holding or feeding Elliotte. She is such a gift. I will be honest, I thought much more about Sanfilippo than I anticipated. I thought right when she came out I would know. I am leaning towards yes she has it because at times, she looks very much like Jayden and Brooklyn, then there are other moments where I am unsure. I wish it didn’t matter and I didn’t care. And the bottom line is that it doesn’t change anything either way, but it really is the waiting that gets to me. I just want to know for sure. So in a few minutes, Jut and Brooklyn are coming to get us and bring us home to reality. Wish us luck!

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