Start.

 

Start.
Gotta start somewhere, even if it’s in the middle. I keep waiting for the first of the month, the new year, a monday (or Sunday for some of you) or a birthday, to start.  Time is funny in that way. As if January 1 is any different than Dec 29. Time has a way of marking progress, or lack of it. I mean, what’s wrong with starting on a Thursday, June 20?

So, that is what I am doing. Starting. Maybe re-starting. I am going to try to chronicle my life from this point forward with regular blogs.  I have to lay the idea that I will catch up, on hold.  Let’s be honest. I may never “catch up”.  Life moves too fast.  Anyone else agree, the older you get, the faster time flies?  Speaking of which, when was the last time you said, “I’m bored”?  That funny phrase I said in high school and college is now reinvented in my house to, “what’s next.”
Some stuff I write is stupid, irrelevant, and uninspired. I think if I get too hung up on being brilliant, God can’t be brilliant. He prefers to work in spite of my inability to be brilliant and takes the messy, unedited stuff and give my words a voice in a person’s soul-not me. I love that about Him.  Kinda takes the pressure off, you know? I love that its not about me and my ability, how hard I work, or even how hard I pray.  If God wants to use me, I just need to start.
I have a shirt that says, “this isn’t about me” from the youth group I am honored to work with.  It’s royal blue. I love wearing it because it reminds me this life isn’t about me, but in the same breath, God is obsessed with me. It’s a crazy thought!  It’s not that I am irrelevant, but it is in Christ, I am SO relevant!
At Deeper last week, we were in Gen. 3, talking about sin.  Rebellion. Whenever we make this life about us and not Him. We were created to give God glory. To shine so bright, people see us, and we show them Him instead. Bottom line.  It is only when we try to BE God instead of being LIKE God we sin.  We shine, but point people to us. We were created in His image, and so often, we try to be creator instead of being created.
I have a prayer above my sink that speaks to this that I found:
Almighty and Eternal God-
so draw my heart to you,
so guide my mind,
so fill my imagination,
so control my will
that I may be wholly yours ,
utterly dedicated to you;
and then use me,
I pray you, as you will,
and always to your glory and the welfare of your people
though my Lord and savior Jesus Christ-AMEN
So, I’m typing outside and a fly just died in my fresh cup of coffee. Guess he couldn’t swim. I took a stale dorito from the ground (left there from my kids yesterday) and scooped the little guy out….it was a full Kerig cup, still tastes fine.
Focus, Stef.
So back to my point. I did it. I started. Blog number 1. No catching up. In the middle of the year, middle of the month, and middle of the week.
Ew, now Hemi is eating the Dorito.

2 thoughts on “Start.

  1. Melissa-I admire you so much from afar! I which I could be half the woman you are! From all Katie tells me about you, and how much she admires and loves you, I would love to sit at your feet and learn. I am humbled you continue to keep tabs on our family! We are so blessed, indeed!

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  2. Hey Steph. If only I could write as real as you do. Thanks for your blog. In reading around on it this morning I realized it's already been about a year since you found out Ellie didn't have Sanfilippo. Your life is so full. What a blessing your three beauties are. Wish we lived closer. Katie loves you so much and thank you for being such a great friend to her.

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