Have you ever felt God moving you in a direction you feel under qualified?
Maybe even scared?
A direction that seems impractical or a bit too audacious?
I sure do right now.
For years, I have felt a little whisper in my heart to write. To actually take my writing seriously. Maybe even write a book. In fact, this isn’t the first time I am writing about writing. Maybe it’s writer’s block, or confidence block, or obedience block, but I never seem to go ALL IN.
Maybe you can relate to my thought process. I get a “whisper.” Someone says, “I loved your blog, I think you should write a book.” Or, I get a personal message from a reader that said my words challenged they way they thought about life. I go to a conference and they tell me that my story matters. A New York Times bestselling author reads my stuff and tells me to keep writing. I get a brochure in the mail that says, “She believed she could, so she did.”
These “whispers” stir something deep inside of me, and I start believing that God wants to do something amazing through me.
“Could God really use little, ‘ole me?”
I start dreaming and maybe post a blog, or take a step in that direction. But within days, I always seem to talk myself out of it. “Why me? I mean, who am I? Everyone has a story. Can’t I just be content and not make it about me? Why would anyone care what I have to say? I’m not a writer.”
What is your whisper? You know, that thing that God keeps laying on your heart but you seem to talk yourself out of every time?
Maybe it is too risky.
Maybe it means you can’t be comfortable anymore.
I don’t know about you, but for me, the year’s continue to pass…but the whisper remains.
This Sunday at church I was reminded that God doesn’t choose me because of ME, He chooses me because of HIM. He has a genealogy of broken, messy, and unqualified people telling His story. I feel like God keeps whispering to me, “Stefanie, tell MY story. Tell people about the amazing things I am doing in and through you. Tell them about the secret blessings underneath pain. Show them the joy I have put in your heart. Build a platform so I can stand on it. It’s not about you, it’s about ME. I know it is risky to expose your soul to people. You will be criticized. Some people won’t understand. But Stefanie, that doesn’t matter. You have an audience of one. All I am asking is that you are faithful and that you trust me. I will use what you give me.”
That’s the story what I want to be obedient to tell. And, it is in the midst of the busyness, in the midst of the storms, in the midst of the “now”, I feel God calling me to tell His story.
Officially in May, I am “graduating.” My nine years in high school youth ministry will be done. God keeps whispering to me in this pending change. As I look towards my future, I am wondering….
What would it look like to be ALL IN?
What would it look like to lean into the whispers?
How about you? What is the whisper that you will be leaning into in 2015? I would love to hear about it!