My Birthday Breakdown


Because of the nature of my job, Justin never gets to go on overnight retreats with our high schoolers.  I am in charge of all the details from booking, to schedules, permission slips, etc….except for our fall retreat. Fall retreat is with a number of other area churches and I don’t have a lot to do with the actual weekend so the option was open for Justin, instead of me, to go. So, with my blessing, he went but that meant all three kids, all weekend for me. Stubborn as I am, I really wanted to do this whole weekend with no help. I mean, I am their mom, how hard could this be?!


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pride or peace?

The kids are on their way to school. Ellie is quietly sitting in her seat in the car drinking a bottle. I actually have boots on with a heel and my hair is straightened. I’m dressed and I look like a grown woman-instead of my signature gray hoodie and sweats.

My coffee is reheated in my favorite cup.  I’m just looking for a cardigan to wear. The teal one. So “Pinterest”, I think. My casserole is warm in a fancy casserole dish carrier. And I think I might even make it on time.

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I feel like life is going by too fast.

Like it is a car going 10 mph and I am frantically running behind it trying to get it. I say 10, cause it is always right in front of me…like a minute too late, or a few steps ahead. No matter the progress I make to catch up or get ahead….it is always a few moments in front of me. So, what would it look like to “catch up”? Funny. I guess it starts with priorities. I read this blog entry off of pinterest about this lady that seemingly had it all together, only to find out it was a dream. (read story here ) But, I really want to be that put together. The more clean and organized I am, the calmer I feel and also more productive. It is something I want and to a degree, need to feel sane. Type A is in my blood (ironically, I am A positive). However, my current season of life is not conducive to type A at all.
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May 30, 2012: morning before meeting Elliotte

It’s 5:18 am. I woke up having contractions on the day I am scheduled to be induced. Funny. I couldn’t sleep very well and had a bit of an emotional breakdown before going to bed. I will admit I am nervous. Nervous for labor and the pain, nervous for seeing her, and nervous that she may or may not have Sanfilippo. I am fearful of the unknown, and in typical character form, I just need to know.

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our visit to Children’s

Today we made our trip to Children’s. There really was no new news with the exception of learning a second urine test done on Jayden showed higher levels of an enzyme consistant with MPS III, Sanflippo Syndrome. However, when we met the genetic doctor that specializes in MPS, she was still suspicious of Hunter’s after seeing Jayden and ordered a retest for Hunters Syndrome.
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Edwards Apple Orchard

An annual event, I love to take the kiddos to Edwards Apple Orchard in Poplar Grove near Rockford. It’s only open Sept-Nov and I remember going there as a kid. It’s one of those few places that you have to make a tradition to visit. So far, we have gone every year with Jayden. This year, Joan (Ama) and Grandma Bakken (Bea) joined us (Papa met us there for a bit). Here are some photos…

And this one is my favorite…