Gray. It’s my favorite color, but not when it comes to knowing. When it comes to knowing, I want answers. I want to know when. I want black or white.
But dying, like living, is full of gray.
As I type, just got an email notification from the middle school Jayden would have been attending if he didn’t have Sanfilippo. It was a reminder about the school dance tonight.
As I type, I listen to the rhythm of his breath. In the background, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse plays.
I can’t believe it’s snowing.
I can’t believe it’s November.
I can’t believe my son is dying.