Confessions as I anticipate grief: part 1

little dipper

Confessions as I Anticipate Grief is a series of posts I will be releasing on StefanieBoyce.com. This is part one.

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“If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.”

-Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

 

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Tension

I wonder how long it has been since I stopped. 
Stopped long enough to really spend time with a children’s book.
Stopped to play with play doh.
Stopped to really look at my child.
Until Monday morning.
Mondays have turned into my favorite day. The best start to my week is slow.  I get to sit in my pj’s and cuddle with Ellie.  Most of the time it is for a few minutes during Fresh Beat Band. Then I get up and start. Manage the calendar. Start the Laundry. Grocery shop. On a good day, I run.

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Priorities

I feel like life is going by too fast.

Like it is a car going 10 mph and I am frantically running behind it trying to get it. I say 10, cause it is always right in front of me…like a minute too late, or a few steps ahead. No matter the progress I make to catch up or get ahead….it is always a few moments in front of me. So, what would it look like to “catch up”? Funny. I guess it starts with priorities. I read this blog entry off of pinterest about this lady that seemingly had it all together, only to find out it was a dream. (read story here ) But, I really want to be that put together. The more clean and organized I am, the calmer I feel and also more productive. It is something I want and to a degree, need to feel sane. Type A is in my blood (ironically, I am A positive). However, my current season of life is not conducive to type A at all.
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Welcome Lucy!

In the middle of our personal sadness, we experience great joy in announcing the arrival of Lucy Jane Bogdala! 8 lbs 5 oz 19 3/4 in born 10-11-09 in the evening. Rian and Bill are proud parents and we are proud to be her aunt and uncle. Ri had Lucy via c-section and is already a wonderful mother. God is truly amazing and the miracle of life reminds us how precious our own children are and how God knits us in our mother’s womb and knows the plans for every day of our life. Welcome Miss Lucy! We love you already!