What do we do on Monday after the funeral?

I am so tired.I feel how Jayden looks-smashed and buried.This weekend, I think I experienced every emotion God made.First grade doesn't stop for my youngest just because her sister died. I thought I missed her open house, but it’s tonight. I thought I missed the bus time, but I remembered they post it online. I thought school started today, but it’s tomorrow.I’m all screwed up, but God knows.What do we do on these days?The days after the funeral?The days when everyone else seems to move forward and we are left picking up the pieces of our shattered life?What do we do when the cards and casseroles stop?When people stop saying her name? His name?How do we answer, "How many kids do you have?"I know what to do.I have been here before.I am still here with her brother. Just because he passed away nine months ago doesn't mean mourning stopped.So I continue to do what I do.It is what we all will do.We will be patient and gracious with ourselves.Rest, drink water, and listen to our bodies.Cry.Cry ugly.We will let the waves wash over us and tumble through the sea of grief, privately and publicly. Surrender, and let Him carry us.We will sniff her hair and his clothes.Take long hot showers.Go to the grocery store and by green things. Healthy things. Things we can cook.Resume amazon orders and get excited for books when the cards slowly stop.We will be patient and gracious as the other people around us grieve in their own way and on their own page.We will say their name. Always. We will talk about them and remember there are more alive now than they ever were. Past tense, present tense, and future tense, just like the rhythm Jesus taught us: He was, He is, and He is to come.We will trust the unseen for it is eternal and fix our eyes on it.Look for ways God continues to speak and remind us He is with us.Seek out Scripture to fill our heart and mind.We will make our bed.We will get out of it.We will keep trying to listen to what feels right, and lean in even when it's tough. Especially then. We will show up broken and awkward to social situations and try. And when it’s too much, we will leave, graciously and gently. Proud that we listened and took action.We will ask how how friends are doing, and care about their pain, even if it seems less than our own. Because pain isn’t meant to be compared, just shared. And, we will care about their happiness and celebrate with them, because bitter isn't who we want to be.We will listen. Listening makes us feel less alone. It’s the greatest gift we can give one another.We will seek out others that are having hard seasons that are choosing to change their perspective, because the people that experience great loss tend to have the best view. We will still learn.We will proudly answer, “I have 3 kids.” Or whatever number we had that we still have. We always will. Where they live doesn’t change the number.And on the days we just can't, we will rest in His love.We will be patient and gracious with ourselves.We will be still and listen.We will watch God pick up the pieces of our shattered life and make a beautiful mosaic, a stained glass window for light to get in and out. A life worth looking at and being around. A life worth living. A life that our loved ones taught us all how to live. A painful, brutiful, radiant, difficult, amazing life we will love the rest of our life, until we get to go home.